Confession One: I'm Not Always Focused

I always loved spring, for a few reasons. One was that things would start to warm up again (I am not a huge fan of being cold). Second is that it meant summer break was just a step closer. So needless to say my grades always had a hard time when spring hit. All I could think about was getting outside and playing some type of sport, in high school it was tennis, college is was a toss up between ultimate Frisbee and soccer. I remember one particular spring day when I was at the local state university I had sat next to window in my class, which had a great view the football field. While my professor was talking I was thinking how great it would be to be out there playing something. Well what I missed was the professor was going over all the stuff that was needed for our upcoming midterm which was a large portion of our grade. I think all I caught was my professor saying, “alright class if you just study those things you will do fine on your midterm and remember you grade can determine whether you will pass of fail this class.” All I could think was great, way to stay focused Chris. So over the next week I study super hard and went though every note I had ever taken and every chapter in the book. Only to find out on midterm day that the test only covered one topic out of everything we had learned.

Well good news was I got a good grade and later passed the class, but sad part was that I had to give up hours at work, lose time playing out in the nice beautiful spring weather, and had to cancel a prior engagement that I was looking forward to all because I lost focus for a moment in time.

You know I have found that to be so true in youth ministry. I have lost my focus several times and in the end only cause me more work than I needed to do. Let’s take a look at some of the areas I lost focus in and what I did to get it back.

Tomorrow Part 2

In the Beginning Pt. 5

On the day that we are moving her out of her house I get a phone call from this Pastor in Georgia that I sent the application to. He wants me to come in town to meet with him and to speak to the youth there to see what I thought about the youth and to see what the youth thought about me. So Jen and I make the arrangements to go there. I remember my first message to the Jr. High service was on the prodigal son, entitled “Ocean floor”. Then I spoke to the Sr. High about true brokenness in a message called, “One Step Closer”. Afterwards I felt good and excited, finally I made it, I am answering the call! Needless to say I get the job and was thrilled to death, I read and study and was preparing for each week with excitement, as most first year youth pastors do. But then time set in and I found myself fight different battles and that is what this book is all about. I want to share or confess five struggles that I faced over the eight year that I worked in youth ministry.

Until writing this no one knew that I fought these battles, in fact I tried my hardest to fight them alone and had to learn these lessons the hard way.

So I want to share what I fought and how I overcame them, but I want to start by saying don’t hold anything in. As stated in James 5:16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. (Footnote: New International Version) But we’ll talk more about this later, let get to it.

Next: Confession #1

In the Beginning Pt. 4

Let’s jump a few more years. A lot has changed for me: I have a full-time job in Florida, I had spent some time volunteering on staff at my college, and had finally listened to God and met my future wife, Jen. Well, Jen was about to graduate and I knew it was time for me to find a job in the ministry. By this time I had taken a few mission’s trip, worked in and led various ministries but hadn’t found a full-time ministry job. So it was a week before her graduation and I walked into my job at the time and mention to the hostess that I need a job (oh yeah in case you were wondering I was working on a boat dock that also had a restaurant). So she happened to know of a Pastor who was looking for a full-time senior high youth pastor, in fact it was her old church. So I sent him an e-mail and got a massive application in return, but I wanted to be in the ministry so bad and had learned form past experiences that sometime God requires us to work hard to receive the reward he has for us. So I finally finished the application a week later and sent it back to him. Well Jen graduates and we were making plans for our next step. For her it was to head back home to Missouri and for me I had a summer job waiting for me back in Tennessee. All we knew is that we were wanting to get married later that year but needed God to work some small details out like a job for us.

In the Beginning Pt. 3

On the flip side during my last year in school I found myself in a relationship. I don’t mean any type of relationship, but “THE ONE.” This was it my search was over I had found the girl I was going to spend the rest of my life with. So I started saving money for a ring, making plans to come back to Tennessee since she still had a few years left in school. I mean I had it all figured out, but I forgot someone kind of important by the name of God. So I was about a couple of months away from graduation and I get disturbing news. She broke up with me! I was confused and disorient. After a week or two, I was able to clear my head and went for a walk on the beach and decided it was time to talk to God about this whole ordeal. After a few hours, I had come to conclusion that I didn’t wait for God or seek his approval, thus I had to experience some major pain that stayed with me from quite some time. But I did learn through that pain how to consult with God before I make my plans.

Now after graduation I get my first chance to live out what I spoke my last day in youth group with an internship in a great church outside of Nashville, Tennessee. So I got a taste of youth ministry and what all it takes and loved it. I found that when I actually followed God’s path things were exciting. I am a big star wars fans and one of my favorite lines recently was from the newest movie, where the padawon tells her master that when she became calm and focus everything seemed clear and easier. (footnote: The Clones Wars: the Movie) Which I think is true for God. When we calm down and focus on God things will start to become easier for us. I am not saying that it will always be easy, but easier than it could be.

Tomorrow: Part 4

In the Beginning Pt. 2

Well if you are still reading that is awesome, here is the next part to the first chapter:

So now I find myself at a local state university majoring in Biology. This was my dream since kindergarten, I had always wanted to be a marine biologist and now it was coming true. Until I met with my advisor. So I get into my first semester of class for my major and realize that I was not cut out to memorized a lot of Latin names for plants and microorganisms. So I switch to my next love which was acting. So I changed advisor, and changed to a theater arts and broadcasting major. I got into my classes and loved it, I knew this is what I was cut out to do. Well, another aspect to my college life was the Greek life. After a gradual downhill spiral, I found myself waking up the next morning from a party and heading to class when I felt something I haven’t felt in a long time. That feeling of God’s presence. I’ll talk more about this later on, but during this time I had a great talk with God that ended with me realizing it was time for massive change. What I later found out is that sometime to get back in God’s will you have to make massive change.

You might be asking what was the massive change? Well the change was for me to leave my hometown and move nine hours away from everything I knew and loved. So during the summer I started to put things in order and packed my stuff and headed to sunny Florida. I know I was suffering for Christ, but hey someone needed to. I enrolled in a bible college located in Pensacola and started this journey that God had for me. I learned fast that when God starts you on the path of his calling you will learn through love and pain. I know that sounds weird so let me explain. There were times in bible college that I felt love and during those times things were great and life was easy and I grew. Then there were times when I felt pain but what I found was that I was still growing and learning.

For example when I first moved to Pensacola I only had so much saved up so I had to find a job, good times. Well a good friend of mine from youth also moved down, so we decided to look together. Well it didn’t take long and she found one that was perfect for her, yet I couldn’t find anything. Then as a last ditch effort, We stopped at this scuba diving shop, remind you I am from Tennessee and the extend of my water time was swimming in a pool and fishing at the nearby steam. So I go in and asked if they were hiring while praying to myself, “Please God! Please God! Please God!” So the manager comes out and tells me that it is funny that I came in today because he had someone was leaving and had an opening but hadn’t had the chance to put the sign out yet. Then he asked me if I knew anything about scuba diving. So I started to think as fast as possible and all that came back was movie references to James Bond fight underwater and Jaws. So I said, “no” while thinking, “Oh well guess that is that.” Then he said something I wasn’t expecting. He told me that was great and explain it is easier to train someone with no experience than to retrain someone with experience. So in that moment I felt the love, because I knew that was all God and not because I did something special. 

Tomorrow: Part 3

In the Beginning Pt. 1

“I can’t believe I finally made it! I made it to youth group now I am all grown up.” I remember thinking this on my first day in youth group. At the age of four my mother starting taking me to church with her and so I grew up in the children’s ministry at our church and always heard of all the cool things the youth were doing and couldn’t wait for that day to come for me and now it is here.

So here I was five foot nothing, big hair (or as we say in our family fluffy), Urkeled-framed glasses, and maybe 70lbs after going for a swim in my clothes. Man was I excited to be here finally! So worship started and I watched around to see what everyone else was doing so I would fit in. Then came the message. I wish I could say that I remember word for word everything that was spoken to me that night, but let’s be real I was a wide-eyed sixth grader thinking to myself, “I’m in youth, I’m a big man now.” But what I do remember is that I watched all the older youth to see what I was suppose to do and how I can fit in and tried my hardest.

Now jumping six years, I am in my senor year of high school and find myself being the one watched. I can remember my last night in youth group before graduating thinking to myself where did the time go? As I thought about the last six year there were high times and low times and I remember thinking to myself if I ever got the chance to be the one young people look up to, I would do a better job! I like to take this moment to caution anyone reading this that you have to be careful what you say, because God has a funny way of working things out when you least expected.

Tomorrow: Pt. 2

So what is this all about anyways?

Welcome to my place in this blog world! For over the last year I had been working on a book, called, "Confessions of a Youth Pastor" and needless to say my ADD kicked in and it never got finished. So I thought I could place what I have already written into this blog and finish the book through the blogs I place here. My goal is that in one year I will have all that I need to complete my book. Now onto the point of this.

Confessions is all about the the issues and problems that I have faced as a youth pastor of 7 years. What I have found is as I look at the things I have faced as a youth pastor I also face in some degrees as a Christian. Some of the stories are stupid and some are serious, but I hope overall it will help you and encourage you as you take your walk through this journey God has us all on.